WEEKLY VLOG #9:

3 REASONS WHY I CAN‘T LET GO OF THE PAST

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Hello and welcome! Dear wonderful people!

I am Totally Zen Tadeja from Andromeda Yoga Atelier. Every Thursday I am going to answer a real-time question we might all be struggling with considering yoga, mental health, and well-being. If you have a question post it in the comments down below.

The vlog is specially dedicated to people who are:

  • Tired
  • Tired of being tired and
  • Tired of explaining how tired they are to everyone else.

You can substitute the word tired with exhausted, feeling blue, stuck, busy… Whatever pops in your head. USE THAT!

We have all experienced unfair situations. Or maybe despite doing our best our life turned out completely different as we had it planned. Maybe people have wronged us! Maybe your relationship, studies, or job ended… You didn‘t expect it to go this way, it hurts and it is not fair. There is also nothing you can do about it, but your mind just grabs onto all the „could haves“ and „should haves“ like onto a lifesaver.

 

So… today’s question is:

Why I can‘t let go of the past?

Here are my three reasons why:

  • letting go is also letting go of a part of myself,
  • I need to let go of my past hopes and dreams,
  • admitting what someone did is right even if they did me wrong.

 

1. Letting go is also letting go of a part of myself

The pain you are familiar with often seems more comfortable than the happiness you haven’t experienced yet. But as Buddha said: „Attachment is the root of all suffering.“ Suffering becomes an integral part of our identity so easily because our brains are hard-wired on negative emotions. Our brains just remember bad happenings better because if something hurt us we naturally don’t want to repeat that ever again. Like a caveman for example… if the caveman got bit by a bear once the caveman is probably not going to try and pet the bear until the rest of his life… unless that caveman is completely nuts. However, when the bear is gone should the caveman think of that bear every second of his life until he dies??? Heck no!!! Caveman want life happy life! If you are losing yourself in the past instead of learning from it, thus, it is time to cut the emotional attachment to your past. You can choose and learn from your mistakes and then move on. In yoga you are not going to „fly”, and „flying” in yoga means inversions and arm balances, the first time you practice yoga. I have fallen flat on my face during Bakasana — Crow Pose. Did I stop practicing the crow pose? NO! I put a pillow in front of me, I reassured myself that the fear is not needed and I am getting closer to my goal each day.

 

2. I need to let go of my past hopes and dreams

Everything has a beginning and an ending. For example, I wanted to work for UNESCO one day. It was such an unrealistic goal and I like to think I did my best working at least for one institution that is a UNESCO world heritage site. In reality, I did not get what I wanted and I felt so weak, defeated, and embarrassed. I double majored, I hold a MA as well, I worked in leading positions, I kept and still keep learning every day, I met so many wonderful people along the way, and still I felt so terribly unsuccessful. Naturally, I started blaming myself, others, the world, you name it. But focusing on others is just a distraction. You can’t control other people and you can’t let other people define the terms of your life. You can only change what can be changed and you control how you react to the situation. Now, I see myself as very successful in the past and I also forgive myself for all the mistakes I made along the way. Instead, I am excited for my life‘s purpose to reveal itself when I am ready for it.

 

3. Admitting what someone did is right even if they did me wrong

If you suffered abuse you know how hard it is to let go of the past. If we have forgiven and forgotten it feels like we let the perpetrator off the hook. But Buddha also said: „Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.“ It will not hold the person who hurt you accountable for their deeds. Especially, if they did nothing illegal per se. Letting go of the past in not forgetting what happened. It is just letting go of our ideas and fantasies about how it should have been so we can live here and now and enjoy it. Honor the path you have taken thus far, accept the things as they are, but try and remember the positive experiences as well. And let the karma take care of the rest.

 

All in all, the past cannot be changed, the future is uncertain, so we can only live in the present. When we can’t let go of the past we replay sad movies in our minds nonstop. The more you watch them the more it hurts and the more you watch them and the more it hurts. And choosing to focus on all the good is a much better alternative. You have nothing to lose by focusing on here and now! So if you really want to let go of the past, start appreciating what you have here and now.

 

With that thought I bow the head to the heart; may the wisdom of the body and the wisdom of the mind unite together to support our collective healing and evolution.

With love & joy continue on to the rest of your day!

XOXO
Totally Zen Tadeya